Review: Game of Thrones Ascent

Hey there, LMS here. I'll say this up front: this review doesn't follow my normal requirements for a review. It supposedly is an MMO (much like how Wartune or Call of Roma are) but I've yet to come across multiplayer elements. There are no healing classes or options to my knowledge. And I generally can't stand this game. I tried getting into it, I can assure you. Game of Thrones was something I'd been told I'd enjoy. I had every intention of getting into the series when it first came out but my brain decided to go off into outer space and next thing I know, I've forgotten about it and it's gained some sort of cult-following.

So watching me try to make decisions in this game, like which house to swear my fealty to, would probably be vastly entertaining for those that actually follow the damn thing. But for me, I kinda stared blankly at the screen and tried to make the best objective decisions I could. It was really, really hard because I had no idea what I was actually getting myself into. Which house should I swear to? Is there one that's generally good or evil? Are they all just sort of... there? Who the hell are these people, anyway? How does this or doesn't this affect my game? What the fuck am I actually doing?

I don't think I ever got the answers to those questions.


I'll start with the basics: you[r character]. Game of Thrones Ascent s a Facebook game following the--you guessed it-- series Game of Thrones. You basically choose an avatar based on your preferred sex from a dozen or so different images. I went with this one, because why not, she looks pretty kick ass. Also, yes, those're my current stats and I don't ever intend to improve upon them.

 You're in charge of basically starting up your own.... fiefdom, I guess? I can't recall what exactly you are. But you also get to pick your backstory which influences your traits and such. I went with the "Hedge Knight" background 'cause it sounded cool and at the very least, better than any of the others for the character picture I had chosen. I don't really know how your traits influence the game all that much. I understand that your actions affect the future and I assume your traits influence how well you do with your actions. You construct buildings, raise your own military, swear fealty to a house (I went with house Stark because, hell, "Winter is coming" sounds like a badass line from a trailer), and all that stuff. I think there's some resource-gathering component, but honestly, I have no friggin' clue.

The simple fact is, I think this game is in an early beta stage. And the reason I say that is because I usually have to refresh about every five minutes or so because the game decides to conveniently stop responding to my clicks, which makes everything generally more frustrating. The actual game doesn't say anything about being in a beta stage, which makes this more aggravating, because having to repeatedly refresh a game to play it just is bad practice and generates nothing but angry gamers, like myself.

I know I said it in Call of Roma, but games like these are okay in small doses. At first it's really fun 'cause everything's new and going by super fast and all that, but after a while, they just get flat-out boring. This game, however, never actually got interesting for me. Ever. It made me want to gouge my eyes out sometimes or take it out on zombies in Left 4 Dead 2. Because they need more of an excuse to die courtesy of my gun or katana (yes, I totally run around swinging that thing like a maniac and it is glorious). It's sad that the excuse comes from something bad like this game.

Obligatory Grumpy Cat photo because  internet.

Now, I'm sure there'll be people who are reading this and they'll get all butt-hurt and say that this game is great, the series is great, and I'm just wrong and suck. Maybe. But, honestly, I see very little reason to play this game. I played on my character for just over 5 hours and some of that time wasn't even legitimate playing-- it was refreshing, being away from my computer, and other things. I played this game the day after it was suggested to me by Doug Hollingsworth, for those five hours, and I haven't touched it since. The only reason I did today was to take the screenshot of my character's avatar. And I will happily never play it again because it honestly bored the crap out of me. Just. Just no. Game of Thrones might be a great series but this game is definitely doing it a disservice, from my experience.

Have a question, comment, suggestion, etc.? Have a game you want me to review? Feel free to let me know! Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. me any time! I enjoy getting feedback from y'all. Subscribe to my feed or comment below. I'll be very happy to never look at this game again and resume playing actually functioning games.